I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Randomize
