you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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