REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
