well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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