READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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