I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
