5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
