Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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