see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
