I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize