They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
