How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
