@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
