I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
