im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
