I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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