You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
