Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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