it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
