He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
