Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
