Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
