So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
