ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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