sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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