need another drink. this is the easiest way
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize