I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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