U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
thus making me awesome and them whores
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
