not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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