Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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