Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
