Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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