So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
