my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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