The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
