I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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