So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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