I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
