Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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