They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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