dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
