Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Alive.
So much puke
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
