Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
