I must be too annoying 4 u.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
