no, he came in my armpit
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
