The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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