That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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