I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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