i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
