put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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