Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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