Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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