Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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