You're completely useless in the revolution.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
