Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
