I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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