I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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