Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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