Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
