she smelled like a LAN party
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
