so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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