wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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