I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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