Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
