I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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