I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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