I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
two words...techno handjob
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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