I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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