ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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