I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
