im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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