My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
